My life will in god's hand !!??

I know I'm not enough perfect,I'm not better than other...
But I cant have my Own life??
I would like to glorify god's name...
I would like to serve him with my whole life...but I feel tat our distance is far and far and far more....
I knew he will always beside me...But...I'M NOT ENOUGH FAITH...
I would not pray for success,but i pray faithfulness...
I wan to b free in jesus...I wan to hav a awesome life...
I knew tat god create each human also have his own purpose...
I'm SPECIAL...I'm Unique and I'm Origin...